Avraham Weitz - Couples and Family Therapist - Watch video ▶

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The following are 3 proven tips for building a secure, fulfilling and loving marriage - Watch video Tip #1 - It’s not the two of us; rather we are three - myself, my spouse and the safe space between us. The question couples who ‘get it right’ ask themselves is – what am I doing on a daily basis to make this space between us safe and comfortable for my partner? Cutting edge research in interpersonal neurobiology and its game-changing contribution to making couples therapy what John Gottman calls – the ‘art and science of love’, teaches us that our relationship’s success depends on the degree to which we feel safe and secure – at home. When I am feeling safe and secure there’s a better chance that I will be able to summon up the courage to open up and be vulnerable, and it is here - with our guard down and our hearts open - where we are able to connect, deeply and with presence. The first step is being aware and conscious of this space between us. The next step is to check in with myself and take an honest look at my actions, words and even the vibe that I am giving over – do they nurture and grow that space or are they doing the opposite? The last part is to greatly increase those positive “bids for connection” while greatly decreasing the negatives, such as criticism, contempt and self-defensiveness. Tip #2 – Are You Available? These three seemingly simple yet profound words are a check-in with my spouse. Is there something I want to share with the other? Perhaps you can recall that experience of wanting to share something with your husband or wife, and, often underlying this was a desire to connect and become closer. What happened at times? Perhaps we were met with indifference, or a sour face, or even irritability or anger. Very quickly all of our excitement and desire for connection turned into disappointment (if not a sense of rejection or a feeling of resentment). In beginning with the question "are you available?" we are asking our partner are you open emotio